6*24*14 by BJ Neblett

After enjoying this personal account of some of my recent adventures, please click on the image to the right. It will take you to my new romance story Tulips, now available in the July issue of Romance Magazine (Vol 2 No 6) through Amazon. And be sure to check out all of my stories in other issues of Romance Magazine.
BJ

6*24*14

BJ Neblett

© 2014

            The Bud Light wasn’t very cold. Then again, I’ve never been much of a beer drinker. But it’s her favorite and I wanted everything to be perfect. Even though I had managed to blow the best thing to ever come my way, not once or twice but three times, it still was our anniversary. I had flowers delivered to her at work: six orange and red flamed tulips surrounding a single yellow rose. I wondered how the arrangement turned out – the man at Ballard Blossoms failed to e mail me a picture as he promised. And I wondered about her reaction.

            6 PM. I loaded my butt onto the #44 bus, transferring to the #16 in Wallingford. It was the first time I’d been back since we played our final pick-up game last September. The old deserted ball field held many ghost. The one that had haunted me this past year lived over my shoulder in left field, out of reach, but never out of my mind.

            After a stroll around the infield, and a stop to scratch our initials in the dirt, I settled into the third base bleachers. Gazing out onto the sun bleached field, I could see her ponytail as it bounced and shimmered in the late afternoon summer sun.

            “Nice catch… and very nice throw…”

            “Thanks…”

            “Hi, I haven’t seen you here before, have I?”

            …You’re the cutest thing I ever did see/Really love your peaches wanna shake your tree…

            It wasn’t my ring tone announcing an incoming call – I wished it was – the alarm on my cell phone pulled me from my thoughts: 7:02 PM, exactly. I opened the small lunch tote and retrieved two Bud Light cans. The ice pack had kept them somewhat chilled. But more importantly, the single orange and red flamed tulip was still fresh and perfect. It smelled like summer.

            I had run this moment over in my mind’s eye a hundred times, covering every situation; every possible conversation; every conceivable scenario:

            “Oh, my God, you came…”

            “I can’t believe I’m here…”

            “I’m glad you are…”

            “I’m sorry it took so long…”

            “It doesn’t matter how you got here, Ponytail just that you are here…”

            “So, now what…?”

            Good question, now what? 7:05 PM. I looked around. Except for a couple walking their dog and some kids playing Frisbee I was all alone.

            I popped the top of a beer, offering it to the empty seat next to me along with the tulip. The second can fizzed and foamed as I pulled back the tab. “It’s been one hell of a year,” I said aloud, toasting the air. “Here’s to you, Ponytail. Thanks for coming into my life.”

            I watched as the last 365 days of my life played before me: every day; every minute; every word; every smile; every movement; every touch; every sparkle of her dazzling, expressive eyes; every faltering and fumbling attempt to communicate my feelings. It was as fresh and as real and as beautiful and as painful as ever.

            8:40 PM. A final rehearsed scene took center stage:

            “Why did you come here?”

            “Isn’t this the sort of thing hopeless romantics do? Besides, I needed an ending for Ponytail, the story I wrote for you about how we met.”

            I placed the tulip on the gate at the entrance to the field and left.

♥

            I’ve been called a lot of things in my life. Fool sits right up there at the top of the list. I believe in love. I believe in love at first sight. I believe love is blind and ageless. I believe in soul mates. I believe a heart can break. I believe a heart can be mended. I believe in second, and third and eighteenth chances. I believe in never saying, “Uncle!” I believe in fairy tales. I believe in dreams coming true. I believe in happily ever after. If this makes me a fool, then a fool I’ll proudly be.

            But I re-discovered three things about myself tonight, sitting there alone in the bleachers, staring out onto the field, thinking; remembering; imagining:

            1) I am a hopeless romantic.

            2) A hopeless romantic is a pretty cool and amazing thing to be.

            3) I still don’t care much for the taste of beer.

BJ Neblett

June 24, 2013 – June 24, 2014

When Do You Say, "Uncle"? by BJ Neblett

When Do You Say, “Uncle”?

BJ Neblett

© 2014

            It is not in the nature of humans to give up; to say, “Uncle.” Society as a whole praises the hero, the successful; the stalwart individual who triumphed in the face of overwhelming adversity. We tend to look upon those who give up, whatever the reasons, as losers.

            I have been working on a song for a future gig. You can listen to this intriguing tune from The Script and watch the video by clicking here. The lyrics, clever, poetic and insightful, speak to me. They beg the question: When to say when. Where exactly lays that fine line between hopeless romantic and helpless fool; between determined lover and restraining order?

Unattributed

            As children, we are taught to never give up, to persevere. Bumper stickers remind us Winners Never Quit and Quitters Never Win. Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson led his team to Super Bowl victory with the simple line, “Why not us?” Literature is ripe with happy endings because of the hero’s tenancy. The Bible admonishes us to pray ceaselessly (Matthew 7:7-8), and that the Lord will reward those who are patient and persistent (Luke 11:8-10). Even the happiest place on earth was founded on the lyrics of a song sung by Jimmy Cricket: “Fairytales can come true/If you believe that they do…”

            Belief and faith: two sides of the same coin. Flipping it only results in the same cliché: Hang In There Baby! Okay, but for how long? I have yet to find a crystal ball, Ouija board, Magic 8 Ball, fortune cookie, sage, soothsayer, fortuneteller, oracle, or wise old uncle that puts term limits on advice. And even if one was to surrender, to give up and forsake their noble quest, won’t they always be plagued with the unanswerable question: What if?

            I suppose in some circumstances the inevitable is obvious. Most all battles have winners and losers; board games end with a clear victor; the race goes to he who finishes first, the rest are usually forgotten. But what about when it comes to matters of the heart? There is always another battle to win, another game to play; another race to run. And who says the participants can’t be the same?

            If you are looking for some sort of clever ending here, some saying to take with you that yields solace on lonely nights, sorry. I’m as clueless as anyone. Perhaps if I had the answers I wouldn’t be writing this; or feeling these feelings of doubt and confusion. Robert Frost spoke so eloquently of The Road Not Taken. He made an excellent point. Unfortunately, he never told us what to do if the road chosen turns out to be a dead end.

            There is another piece of bumper sticker wisdom that reads: There Is A Difference Between Giving Up and Knowing When You Have Had Enough. Perhaps I haven’t attained that higher plain yet; perhaps I never will. Prayer and personal poems; thoughts of laying an endless path of tulips along the road, to her feet, are more my speed. So for now I choose to believe in The Little Engine Who Could. I remain the hopeless romantic and foolishly hopeful… it’s who I am.

"Somewhere there should be for all the world to see a statue of a fool made of stone"

Click to listen!

                                                                                                BJ Neblett

                                                                                                Seattle, WA

                                                                                                May, 2014