Friday, August 15, 2014
Personal Reflection by BJ Neblett
Regular readers of my blogs know they will find the finest poems and stories along with some commentary about my books, magazine stories and other releases. And that trend will always continue. But those same regular readers will also note that for me writing can be and is healing. I have ranted and raved once or twice here and you my good readers were kind enough to indulge me and even send along your words of support. I ask you to indulge me once again.
August 21 and October 26 are two important and very difficult dates for me. This year the anniversaries take on added significance. August 21, thirty years ago, a beautiful treasure was suddenly and violently taken from this earth, and from me. The incredible young lady God had selected for me as my life partner was killed in a hit and run accident at the hands of a drunk driver. To say we were meant for each other would be to greatly trivialize our relationship. As you can imagine, you never get over such a loss; you just somehow learn to go on. I still miss her.
You can click here to return to an older post of mine, a section from A Change Is Gonna Come my forthcoming memoir. The chapter deals in more detail with the tragedy: http://www.bjneblett.blogspot.com/2014/07/love-in-million-by-bj-neblett.html
I’ve never been really sure about déjà vu and history repeating itself and such. Fate and irony on the other hand seem to enjoy amusing themselves by constantly teasing and tormenting me. Last year I was blessed to meet another amazing young lady. I fell deeply and surely much too quickly. Despite the age difference, the deep attraction was, at the start, mutual. She stirred in me feelings I hadn’t felt for thirty years, feelings I thought I’d never feel again. But more than that, I discovered new feelings that I have never experienced for another human being. Making the situation even more incredible was the fact that this new lady was born exactly two months after my fiancé was killed. They shared the same birth date, October 26. And there were a number of other chilling similarities. I was lost; lost in love as well as a confusing mix of past and present.
Irony can sometimes be cruel. Or was fate just giving me a second chance at true happiness? Who Knows? This past year wasn’t an easy time for me. I know I didn’t handled things well.
It’s been thirty years since I lost my true love, and just over a year since my second chance; a chance I managed to blow big time. I have spent countless hours, willingly as well as reluctantly considering and revisiting both relationships. A million times I’ve played over in my mind all of the scenarios: the what if’s, how’s, why’s and maybe’s. I still have no clue, and both still hurt and trouble me deeply. I imagine they always will.
But writing is healing. And knowing that you my loyal followers are reading my words is great medicine. And I thank you.
Who knows, maybe the third time will be the charm.
On a happier note: My new short story Ponytail – Never Say Uncle is now available in the August issue of Romance Magazine (Vol 2 No 7) through Amazon. Just click the image to the right. Those of you who don’t have Kindle readers, the August issue will be available through the publisher shortly in .pdf and other user friendly formats. The link to the publisher Fiction Magazines is below. There you will also find my stories in older issues of Romance:
Rain - Vol 1 No 10
All The Wrong Places - Vol 2 No 2
Three Of A Kind - Vol No 5
Tulips - Vol 2 No 6
Fiction Magazines: http://www.fictionmagazines.com/